And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:30-32 NKJV
Today, I will expose the subtle deceit of unforgiveness. I don’t know about you, but I struggle with forgiving. The offending person is the bad guy. I am the victim, but the truth is I am being victimized by the enemy.
When I fail to forgive. I am building a wall around me. This wall doesn’t protect me. It prevents the goodness of God from reaching me. That doesn’t mean my life is disastrous. That would be too obvious, but God holds some blessings back.
Let’s say I can’t forgive my husband. He has made a huge purchase without discussing it with me. He has spoken harshly. He spends more time watching TV than he spends with me. Mostly hypothetical.
Anger rises. A grudge is birthed. I don’t forgive, but God commands that we forgive everyone, including our husbands. Even if they don’t seek our forgiveness.
Until I forgive, I am walking in sin. I have stepped out from God’s covering. God will not bless unforgiveness. I have cut myself off from answered prayer.
Unforgiveness is a stronghold. That might be a term you aren’t familiar with, but a stronghold is a mindset that keeps you outside of God’s will in one particular area. Some other forms of strongholds include: eating, spending, sexual, emotional, drug, or alcohol. We might say that unforgiveness has a strong hold over us.
Unforgiveness grieves the Holy Spirit who indwells us. How much joy and peace will we experience when the Holy Spirit within us is saddened by our unforgiveness?
Ladies, we can’t change our men, but we can change our reactions. When we forgive, we not only set our husbands free, but we set ourselves free.
God breaks strongholds when we pray. get in your prayer closet and fight for your marriage.
Some of you are trying to forgive incredible debts. Infidelity or abuse. Let me say that God doesn’t want you to remain in an unsafe or abusive relationship. I applaud you ladies who are giving your marriage a second chance. I can’t imagine how you get through the day. Each morning greets you with the reminder of his unfaithfulness. Yet, one step at a time, you are forgiving. I know God smiles down on you for being the portrait of Christ.
Whether the offense is huge or myopic, we must ask God to tear down the walls we have built. Brick by brick, He will work in the lives of His girls who have a genuine heart of repentance.
Lord Jesus, Your daughters come to You today seeking Your help in the area of unforgiveness. We want to forgive, but it isn’t easy. Lord, let this day be the day we forgive (name the person and deed). Each time we are reminded of the offense, strengthen us as we work towards reconciliation and restoration. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
DIG DEEPER
Read Colossians 3:12-13 NKJV
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
HIKING THE TRAIL
According to our verse from Colossians, what else must we do as well as forgiving? What attitudes do we need to “put on?”
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Originally posted on February 7, 2020 @ 3:00 am