TRUSTING GOD IN THE FACE OF DOUBT
By Carolyn Dale Newell
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28 NKJV
Has your mind ever told you to trust God and pray for His will? All the while, your heart was afraid of what His will included. Do we fear God’s will because we assume it is different than what we want? That was how I felt. Could we learn to completely trust God and His will? I trust God more now than I did eighteen years ago.
When Timmy, my husband, had leukemia, fear gripped my heart, and I was afraid God would allow him to die. Many people lose their spouses. Good people with good spouses, Not just unbelievers, and not just bad people. Why would I be any different? I clung to Romans 8:28.
Even if Timmy died, it would bring God glory. God would work it out for good. Everything in a Christian’s life is controlled by our sovereign God who loves us. Take a moment and let that soak in. Comforting, isn’t it? God controls our uncontrollable. God would take care of me. That was my pep talk. I tried to believe those difficult truths. I knew they were biblical, but in spite of that, I feared becoming a young widow. Feared losing the love of my life. Feared our time together would be shortened. Feared life alone with no one to care for me. No one to love me. Just plain scared of losing him.
I was still a baby Christian, still unaware of God’s great love and mercy. Do we ever completely fathom God’s love? I was learning to trust Him, but not fully walking in faith.
Apart from a miracle, things seemed hopeless. Like the pit, Joseph’s brothers threw him in (Gen. 37:18-34), we were at the bottom with no way out. Joseph lost his precious coat of many colors. I was losing my husband. Timmy was losing his life. Joseph lacked water to drink, and we lacked a cure. No earthly person could help Joseph. His brothers certainly would not have a change of heart and pull him out. We felt that same hopelessness. God is still the God of miracles. He providentially sent Ishmaelites by and pricked the hearts of Joseph’s brothers to sell him rather than allow him to die. God needed Joseph in Egypt, so He redirected his path.
We were released from our pit when a friend called one night. She watched a news story about an experimental drug labeled STI-571. CML patients were going into remission with this drug, later named Gleevec. We had hope again. God released us from our pit of despair. Hope in God when things are hopeless.
Friend, you may be in that same pit today. Remember Joseph. Remember our story. When man cannot, God can.
Timmy began the drug, and within weeks, he hit his first remission. There are actually three stages of remissions, and within two years there was barely a trace of CML found in his blood. It is 2017, and Timmy is still alive and healthy.
Doubt filled our minds many times through those years, but God remained faithful. Our doubts came and went like the waves of the sea, ebbing to and fro on the shore. Through it all, we learned to trust God.
You may struggle with doubt today. Trust God with all you have, and when doubt arises, ask God to help you trust Him more.
Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Forgive us for doubting Your will and Your plans. Strengthen our faith. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Read Mark 9:23-24.
HIKING THE TRAIL
Drawing closer to God increases our faith, along with traversing many storms.
This is from Faith, Freedom & Four Paws: Trusting God in a World of Doubt, my current book in progress.
Copyright 2017 Carolyn Dale Newell.