“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
Mark 10:7-9 NKJV
Months ago, I pictured my marriage as a game of tug-of-war. Each of us pulling against the other. You can’t imagine the demands a blind wife puts on her husband. He has to handle things most husbands don’t touch. I do some online shopping, but he chooses the fruit, veggies, and perfect cuts of meat. I do mobile banking, but he writes most checks. As a blind writer, I need a sighted proofer.
Last year, life became demanding, and so did I. After work, my husband spent hours caring for his mom’s lame dog which she refused to put down. He came home aggravated and in pain.
I hate to write this, but I met him with more demands. I had a book releasing, and I needed him. I didn’t portray kindness, humility, and patience. I excused my behavior believing he was wrong. Where was my husband when I needed him?
Then God convicted me about the covenant of marriage, as I studied Kingdom Marriage by Dr. Tony Evans. A covenant is a covering. While you stay under the protective roof of your house, you are sheltered from the rain. You aren’t exposed to extreme heat or cold, and the wind has little effect on you. Step outside of your covering and you are fair game.
Marriage is meant to glorify God. However, many times our marriages are met with incredible demands, strained relationships, and heavy burdens. Husbands and wives don’t respond in a manner pleasing to God. Unkind words leave scars. Harsh tones cause tempers to boil. Then our marriage isn’t glorifying God. We have stepped outside the covenant. Respect and tender mercies have all but disappeared.
When we start walking outside that marital covering, we forfeit God’s blessings. We live in chaos rather than calm. Throughout Scripture, God ruled through covenants. He made covenants with Abraham, Noah, and David. Jesus gave us the New Covenant.
When I realized God’s role in our marriage, I began thinking differently. If I skipped laundry, that only hurt my hubby. No, it displeases God. If we argue, that doesn’t just affect us. It displeases God.
My image of tug-of-war now resembles a triangle. When I am tempted to demand and nag, I look at God first. He holds the middle of that rope. As we draw closer to God, we draw closer to one another.
Friend, if you find yourself in that tug-of-war, focus on God. Take all the irritants and frustrations of marriage to Him. Stop pulling the rope. Trust God to work on our spouses, when we are willing to allow Him to work on us.
Lord God, show us how we can be godly wives. Help us bite our tongues as we rely on You to do a work in our husbands. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
DIG DEEPER
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:29-30 NKJV)
HIKING THE TRAIL
Looking at the verses above (Ephesians 4:29-30), how do we grieve the Holy Spirit? What does corrupt speech include? Are our words imparting grace to our spouses?
A rocky marriage can become overwhelming. Check out my new 30-day devotional, Overcoming the Overwhelming: Walking in Victorious Faith When You Don’t Feel Victorious HERE
Originally posted on February 10, 2020 @ 3:00 am